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I’m not a girl boss I’m the boss!

Jiu-Jitsu and Boxer

I was strolling through my news feed when I saw pictures of Jess’s girls. Without hesitation I emailed her and asked if the girls could come to the studio for a few photos for this specific post. I was fired up ready to give my opinion to the world and it sat on my computer for weeks.

What happened? Someone tagged me in another photographer‘s post that did something similar and I felt small, insignificant, the same and behind. I have never been the type to follow the crowd. My photography editing is considered unorthodox to the average photog and I like what I like, and it can’t look like everyone else’s because I am busy doing me and I won’t stand out trying to be someone I am not.

Funny right? So why post this now? Because I had a moment today where I realized that “there is nothing new under the sun”. I can’t stop being me because someone else did it. Yeah its been done before but you know what it needs to be said again and again till people get it.

I am not a girl boss, I’m the boss. I am not a woman photographer, I am a photographer. I’m not ashamed of my gender at all, if you walk into my studio you would think I only did girl photos as there is so much pink white and glitter thrown all over the place, but I will say this. All the men that surround me that are photogs (not all but some, lets not be dramatic) borrow my studio and ask for my tips on how to stay organized in business. Not because I am a girl, but because I am a boss who gets things done and I’m Done Playing small.

My business has flourished and has become so popular that it's hard to meet all the requests that come in, because if I did, let's face it my husband would leave me out of pure neglect. I must keep a good balance, I don’t want to give up my entrepreneurial dreams, but I don’t want to sacrifice my dream family that I have been blessed with.

Which is why I asked the girls to come in; because my friend Jess and her hubby are raising their girls rights.

Yes, they are girls, but they are strong. Yes, they are girls, but they are not the weaker sex. Yes, they are girls and they can do anything a boy can do, maybe even better.  She is not raising them to grow up and rely on a man to protect them. They are equipping them today to be strong people.

When I was a little girl, I remember arguing in the driveway with my dad who was teaching me to change a tire. Like all little girls who compared herself to all little girls, I grumbled and said, “My husband will change my tire, if I don’t have one, I will call triple a and they will send one of their guys”. My dad’s face turned to a look of disappointment as he sat his body on the ground next to the tire we were changing and he said, “You are my daughter but if you have a man in your life its because you want one, not because you need one. You will take care of yourself and not need a ‘guy’ to do it”. If my dad were alive today, he would be proud.

Papi, your little girl grew up. Raised her kids as a single mom and built a business that has a good reputation. I did marry but not because I need him to take care of me; as we take care of each other. And my husband is my biggest cheerleader as I am his. I did hear you that day, and I never forgot it.

A few years ago, I was working a wedding and my second photog was working with me who happens to be a guy, Miguel Angel Gomez of Mila design. He’s really good so follow him. Anyway, the staff at the venue we were shooting at was extremely accommodating, they wanted the bride to be extremely happy with every detail including the photography, so they walked us around the venue making suggestions, but I did notice the wedding planner addressed Miguel and instructed Miguel for everything. Now, at the moment I was too focused on the shots I didn’t care, plus Miguel’s on my team relaying everything to me. But then the wedding planner saw me in the hallway and asked for Zai.

He honestly thought that Miguel was Zai of ZaiPhotography. He just thought the guy was the boss. I wasn’t offended I have come to accept that people grow up thinking only men are the Bosses. The beauty of this moment was telling him,

“His name is Miguel, I am Zai. Zaibel Torres, how can I help you?”

Ugh those are the moments where I should be videotaping.

On a side note I’m not shaming the women experts of your fields for loving being the best in the women’s division, (get it girl) what I’m saying is I want to roll into a room where the big boy photogs roll and be recognized as a great photographer, one day the best among all, not just among the women.

I get we are different and I accept that but I will not accept it as a lesser value, that’s not what God created me to accept.

Anyway, I am Zai, I love Pink. Not because it's girly but because its strong. How does the saying go, “Only a strong man is confident wearing pink”.

Dude I have been wearing it forever! Here is a sample gallery showing how strong pink can be! Let me introduce Ayanna and Leah Negron who are inspiring all they encounter with their strength.


As you know I love to showcase the businesses involved behind my photo shoots.

Just in case your looking at putting your kids into a similar program or training.

Jiu-jitsu at BJJ- ZR Team located on 1313 Connecticut Ave Bpt,CT under Thiago Silva

A-Side Boxing located at 115 Bruce Ave Bpt CT under the coach Kevin.


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