• Zai

Loving my skin



Just think about this phrase, “I love my skin”.

When people find out I am a photographer they often end conversations with, “I will call you when I am ready for photos, I have to get fit first”. And this is where my speech begins.


I was thin back in the day and funny enough I was not one of those people who appreciated my body, I wasn’t even content with it. I felt I was awkwardly shaped. Then I had kids and I felt even more awkward. So I avoided being in photos, in fear of what people would say if they saw my body.


That’s a truth bomb right there! You can deny it, but I know many of you have felt exactly the same way. Then years past and I became a gym rat and although I was the fittest I had ever been in my life and selfie’s had become the rage, I was unhappy with the “softness” of my body I needed lean muscle fit .

LISTEN HERE, If we don’t think we are worthy in a bigger body, we will not think we are worthy in a smaller one either. The problem was my thinking. This body was the house I grew up in and I was burning it down with my thoughts.

Don’t worry; I did learn to love my body eventually. One day I woke up and my youngest was going to college and like most moms do, I go to the baby albums! The photo crazy junkie, who literally has a closet full of old photographs, has little to no photos with my babies during their toddler years.


The ones I did have, I had bags under my eyes, baby vomit on my shirt and I hid them behind other photos so no one would see them. Once discovered, I held them tightly and cried saying thank you, to whoever caught the moment that I wish I could relive. Life happened and I didn’t document it well enough for myself. #regrets



Meet Alexis

Fast forward to the present and meet Alexis. I knew she was celebrating her 25th birthday with body paint art by the famous Alicia Cobb, so I expected another very thin fit model. Instead I got better than I expected. Alexis was celebrating life and she has curves. Her energy lit up a room and was excited. She was grateful for life, grateful for another year, grateful for her body and all of its beautiful curves and all I could think about was how I wish I had celebrated my life with this confidence at her age.


The problem wasn’t my body; the problem was what I thought of it, and what I thought of myself.

Hating your body will never get you as far as loving it will...

and in Alexi’s young years, she understood this. She conquered this session like a boss, fierce and confident. In a society that profits from your self-doubt, her loving herself was a rebellious act and I was ready to join the revolution. So I had to write a blog about it, because I am so proud of her, proud to know her and experience her strength and confidence. By the time Alexis is my age, she will look back and marvel at her youth. With that said, let me share these quotes with you.


“Comparison is the thief of joy” So stop doing that!
“A Positive body image enables you to have fun in the sun, your body is not a jail cell”
“Confidence is not, “they will like me”. Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t.”
“And lastly, you are a Masterpiece created by the creator, and my God does not make garbage!”

TEACH THIS TO THE NEXT GENERATION OF WOMEN.

#NOMOREBODYSHAMING #STOPWASTINGLIFE




Note to Zai from Zai: “I wish I had fallen in love with you years ago. We deserved each others love long before now”

Zaibel Torres of Zai Photography
email: zaibel@icloud.com
Tel 203-685-5186
305 Knowlton St. CT. 06608